I had a classic meltdown this week. I think every girl is entitled to at least one every quarter. And it all started that moment when I realized that I wasn’t who I used to be. You see, lately, I’ve been feeling at the end of what I have to offer. That’s a really nice way of saying, I feel empty. My dreams, my passion, my sense of adventure…all hollowed out by the arduous journey of grief and uncertainty.
And this week I remembered who I used to be…even just two years ago…fresh off my deployment, I was strong, determined, adventurous, and passionate for life. There was nothing I couldn’t handle. I was fearless.
This week, I felt miles away from that girl from 2012. And it really depressed me. Because, in comparison, I was a broken down shadow of my former self.
And I cried. I miss that girl who was so strong.
But, in the middle of my meltdown, I had to realize something. This season of life has brought me to the end of what I have to offer. And, honestly, that is a beautiful thing. Because this is when He comes in. If you see me standing strong, it is His strength. If you see me dreaming, those are His dreams. At my fringes, He begins His work and is glorified.
Little Ms Adventure 
Oh Mariesha! You have no idea how much I can relate to this post. It is a scary and beautiful place to be.
Yes! Same here, friend. I’ve mourned the loss of my spirited, adventurous self over the past 2 years of anxiety and depression. I’m no longer sure of what I even desire. Here’s to unraveling who we are meant to be and not just who we think we are supposed to be.